It’s Not Me. It’s Them.

by Shannon Hembree on October 17, 2012

I’m in a relationship that I love, but I can finally admit that it’s taking a hard toll on me. I look worse for the wear. I feel worse for the wear. And facing facts, I have to admit it…I am worse for the wear.

A lot of people no doubt look at me and think that the fault lies with me. They no doubt think that if I took the initiative to take better care of myself and my house, I could make many changes for the better. And I’ve tried. But it dawned on me the other day that I may not be the one to blame for my current state of affairs. Who’s the culprit, you might ask? My kids.

Here are the facts:

I used to shower every day…sometimes twice a day. I was kind of neurotic about it in fact. Now? If I can’t sneak a shower in before my husband gets out of the house in the morning, I don’t usually get one until the kids are in bed, and maybe not even then.

I used to keep my living space clean. It wasn’t the neatest place, but it was a clean place. Now? I could clean all day every day, and it would still be dirty. My children are like crumb magnets who drop food particles all around the house simply by walking around. And that doesn’t even count the times that they escape the kitchen with a crumbly cracker or gooey something-or-other in their clutches. And don’t even get me started on the state of the bathrooms with two potty training toddlers. Aim down, men! Aim down!

I used to look put-together. Okay, truth be told, I likely never looked put-together, but I could count on myself not to leave the house with my shirt on inside out at the very least. I can’t make that claim now given that I am dressing myself in the moonlight when my toddlers wake me sometime before 5:30am. This brings me to my next point: the dark circles under my eyes. Did I always look like a Halloween creature from the land of the undead? I would like to think not…but now I do…every day. Boo!

I used to sleep. Do you remember those days when you would go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 7am for work? I do…vaguely…but I can’t talk about that now…it’s too painful a memory…all that sleep…

I used to hang out with my friends – all of them – not just the other ones who stay at home during the day. Now? Not so much. Oh sure, we try and make playdates and dinner dates on the weekends, but we are at the mercy of our kids’ health and pee-wee sports schedules. It’s just not the same as hanging out with the girls over a two-hour cup of coffee.

So you see – my current state of affairs isn’t all my fault. My children share in the blame. Well really, it’s all them, not me.  That’s not to say they aren’t worth it – they absolutely are, but I think we can all be honest in saying that a side effect of parenthood is wear and tear on our old selves. But at least now you know – it’s not you…it’s them.

Shannon Hembree is a SAHM for a first grader and twin toddlers. In her mind, she used to be super put-together and very stylish and cool…In reality, she was never super put-together, and if she tried to tell someone that she was very stylish and cool, she might shoot coffee out her nose…proving the point that she is oh-so anything but those things. You can follow her on Twitter @Shannon1Hembree.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Neighbor Lady October 17, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I used to sleep in until 10, 11am on the weekends. I used to go to a restaurant after 7pm. I used to watch Letterman on occasion and go to the gym AFTER work. I knew nothing about trains and I was ok with that. Yes, it is a different life, and one that I miss (desperately, some days) but wouldn’t trade in my current life for anything! Although I could do without the weird post-pregnancy hair that won’t seem to fix itself and the permanent dark bags under my eyes . . .


Shannon October 17, 2012 at 2:54 pm

It is funny, right? I feel like a total disaster most of the time, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world either 😉


FAH October 17, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Love this – so funny and true.


Shannon October 17, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Thanks! Have a great day!


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