I have what?

by Sarah Weitzenkorn on August 30, 2012

I think I have decided that your body really does give up at around 39 years and 6 months. At least I think mine has.

Just last week, after a very annoying eight days with what I thought was an infected bug bite on my face, I finally went to the doctor. (Am I the only mom that will have my kids halfway to the pediatrician at the sound of a cough but will wait weeks to get myself there with what looks like a tumor on my face?) Anyway, after looking at my face the doctor told me that, no, it wasn’t an insect bite but rather shingles. Yep, let’s say it together people: Shingles. Um, what? The only people I have ever heard of who have had shingles carry an AARP card. In fact, one quick click on WebMd — after skipping past shingles’ connection to the herpes virus and some really nasty pictures — there it is: “You have a greater chance of getting shingles if you are older than 50.”

Fifty is the new 40, I guess. It had already started happening, really. The sensitive toothpaste, the anti-wrinkle anything, the 9 p.m. bedtime, the vitamin supplements, the loud knees. I am already in a losing battle with my body for my mad, passionate love affair with Little Debbie when I was pregnant with each baby. Apparently the old bod is still pissed that it weighed as much as Mike Tyson for a good two years. Just as my chicken pox must have lay dormant for 20 years, these damn oatmeal cream pies have too. But I digress.

At least I am in good company, I guess. This week, as my face exploded, I had a friend — in her early 30s, mind you — whose exploded blood vessel in her eye has made her look like the devil for several days (that was fun for her to explain at her daughter’s school open house) and yet another friend, in her 40s, who has come full circle with a retainer to fix her teeth. I think we will all invest in the Hoveraround together and get started on that AARP application.

 Sarah Weitzenkorn would appreciate it if you didn’t stare too long at her face — or her gray hairs — if you see her anytime soon.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

MK August 30, 2012 at 9:35 am

If it makes you feel better, I know 2 people who got shingles in their 20s and one of them was even still in college! Hope your case is mild and you feel better soon!

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mary from SC August 30, 2012 at 12:59 pm

i had shingles at 36 and too have noisy knees and sensitive teeth. (and just finished an oatmeal creme pie for lunch, no kidding )Sisterhood!

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Jamie August 30, 2012 at 9:25 pm

For some reason I get an AARP card in the mail. Not sure if it’s a mix-up, or if they know something I don’t about how I am aging. Whatever the case, glad to know I am in good company. You just made getting older a little more amusing:)

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SH August 30, 2012 at 9:27 pm

We would make quite the pair now with the mark on my face where they froze off the pre-cancerous lesion. Wear lots of sun screen, ladies! Oh right — the damage was done in our younger years, and there’s nothing left to do but wait for those chickens to come home to roost…you are indeed in good company with the rest of us ;)

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