Be Careful What You Wish For

by Shannon Hembree on July 12, 2012

 

I recently made the off-handed comment while looking through the Williams-Sonoma catalogue that I thought it would be fun to be the kind of person who could make mini pies. You see, I can’t cook – not well anyway. No one comes to my house, leans back after finishing dinner, pats their overly full belly and says, “That was a magnificent meal.” It just doesn’t happen.

Despite this lack of kitchen prowess, there I was checking out the mini pie maker and commenting on it. It wasn’t intended as a, “Please buy me a mini pie maker” hint. It was simply an observation that mini pies are kind of…neat…in theory.

But here’s the catch – I made this mini pie observation out loud while my husband was in earshot…right before my birthday.

And this brings me to my cautionary tale for all of you out there: be careful what you wish for.

If it isn’t obvious already, my birthday gift this year was a mini pie maker. I was actually a little scared of it when I held the box in my hands. It was a big box, and the user manual was even bigger. In an effort to seem super excited about this purchase, I flipped through the directions as soon as I opened it. Big mistake. One of the first things that jumped out at me was something about seasoning the pie maker with oil before using it for the first time and how you don’t have to season it each time thereafter. Um, say what? What does that even mean? Seasoning a pan with oil? My eyes were already glazing over – just like they do when I get those emails about how I could lose 20 pounds in a week if I give up chocolate, alcohol, and food in general.

But I had brought this on myself. I had wished aloud to be a pie-making goddess. And then it was just as I imagined it would be – I was alone in the kitchen with my mini pie maker. It was just me and all of those mini pies waiting to be made. And it was – in a word – overwhelming.

For some reason I have yet to grasp, my first foray into the world of mini pies was chicken pot pies. Clearly, starting with something easy like the breakfast egg pies, which have only four ingredients, was too simple. I needed to start with the multiple-ingredient, multiple-step pie.

I will save you the messy details, but suffice it to say that by the time I was done, my kitchen was covered in flour, the sink was filled with pots and pans (apparently with chicken pot pie, you have to cook everything before actually cooking the pies in the pie maker), and  I was exhausted. The result? Beautiful mini pies…that tasted a bit bland.

I have since perfected the chicken pot pie recipe as much as it can be perfected by a non-chef like me. I have made pecan pies. I have made the super-easy breakfast pies. I have even made maple apple butter pies. In fact, my daughter likes the breakfast pies so much, she asks for them every morning.

I don’t love making the mini pies. It’s not as much fun being a mini pie goddess as I thought it would be. And it’s really messy. Have you ever tried to roll out a pie crust with toddlers around? This morning my boys thought it would be funny to blow the flour that was on the table at each other. POOF is all I can say.

So you need to trust me when I tell you to be careful what you wish for. Because if you make that magical wish at just the right time, you might wind up being an unwilling mini pie goddess…or you might wind up with twins…that’s the beauty of wishes…you just never know…

Shannon Hembree is the mom of a kindergartner and twin toddlers. She really loves that her husband is attentive enough to have heard her random wish for a mini pie maker. She wishes even more that it was as fun BEING a mini pie goddess as it is to IMAGINE yourself as a mini pie goddess. She is also eternally grateful for her twins. She’s just not sure that twin toddlers + a mini pie maker = a recipe for success. 

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Beckie July 12, 2012 at 10:46 am

As a recipient of the above referenced mini pie, I have to say they are delicious. And I’m sure it is much more fun to be the recipient than the creator. Next time your wish should be, “I wish someone would buy the mini pie maker and make me some mini pies,”!

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Shannon July 12, 2012 at 10:57 am

The mini pies DO make good gifts — and I am going to make the maple apple butter ones again today. It’s just not as fun as I imagined it would be to make them…Yet another sign that chefdom is not in my genetic makeup ;)

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Sarah K July 12, 2012 at 10:49 am

I want a mini pie! Please send me one. However, please do NOT send me a mini pie maker for my birthday. So funny. (Seriously, Kirk will buy me one too if I even mention the idea…we are in the couple of days panic before my birthday where he starts eyeing “As seen on TV” items at CVS for my gift…I already own two Snuggies and a “Bump It!” hair insert… ;)

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Shannon July 12, 2012 at 10:58 am

Um…can you please send me a picture of you in both the snuggie and the bump it hair insert…as in together? Because I imagine there is some serious funny in there ;)

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Laura H. July 12, 2012 at 4:33 pm

oh my stars, the “as seen on tv” section at CVS almost makes it worth having to go there for amoxicillin every other day. How about a meatloaf pan? THAT’S what you need. think of all the things you could cook in that puppy…and have mini-pies for dessert!

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Shannon July 12, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I do love “as seen on tv” stuff. I was convinced that the Slap Chop would improve my lot in life for quite a while ;)

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Karen R July 12, 2012 at 11:00 am

Did I overhear you say the other day that you wanted to start canning too?

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Shannon July 12, 2012 at 11:12 am

Yes, and no more grocery store trips for me either. I’m going to grow and make everything myself…although this may mean that we will be naked and starving in a matter of weeks…

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