You Know You Need a Girls’ Weekend When…

by Shannon Hembree on June 15, 2012

It’s Friday, and therefore…time for a little fluff. Here goes!

You Know You Need a Girls’ Weekend When…

You have a raging headache, but you refuse to go upstairs to your medicine cabinet, because your child napping is more valuable than a pain-free existence.

You have just gotten your infant or toddler to sleep and you literally crawl out of the room, because you are overcome by the instinctual knowledge that if you stand up you will wake them.

Your husband asks you if you want a shot, and unlike in your youth, he is referring to a small glass of V8.

Someone asks you what the last good book you read is and you reply, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”

You haven’t stayed up later that 11:00pm since must-see TV on Thursday night was an actual thing.

You think you’re super fancy, because you applied lipstick before going to the grocery store.

You look both ways when leaving the house, because you fear someone from Ambush Makeover is hiding in your bushes.

Someone whistles when you walk across the street. You smile to yourself thinking that you still have it…only to realize that they just want you to get out of their way.

Your hot new outfit consists of Capri pants and a T-shirt.

You get carded for an alcoholic drink and are so excited that it’s your conversation starter for the next two months, despite the fact that the establishment has a mandatory card-everyone policy.

The kids in the mall you thought were so cool in your youth now seem like horrifying reminders that your daughter will one day be a part of that scene.

You realize that an evil elf snuck into your closet and shrunk all of your summer clothes, because they clearly don’t fit anymore.

Damn evil elf.

This is the type of snake my toddler handed me as a gift. I bet Hallmark doesn't have a Thank You card for that...

Your child screams, “WORM!” while on the playground and brings you a small snake (true story).

Your upcoming trip to Disney is your dream vacation, and you’ve started telling everyone to “Have a magical day!”

You have given your breast pump a nickname and come up with music and lyrics to keep in time with its rhythmic beat.

The only pool you’ve been to in recent memory is the one you inflated yourself in the back yard.

Your husband comes out of the bathroom, and you offer him a potty treat.

The last time you got your hair done, it was by a two year old playing beauty shop.

Happy Hour is now the time during the day when your child naps. It is subject to cancellation without notice on any given day.

And what about you? What are your signals that you are overdue for some down time? Or maybe you’ve gotten away recently, and if so, what are your favorite girls’ getaways?

Shannon Hembree is a stay-at-home mom of a kindergartner and twin toddlers. She recently had a glorious girls’ weekend in NYC and highly recommends it as a girls’ getaway location. You can follow her on Twitter @shannon1hembree.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Megan June 15, 2012 at 7:17 am

So funny! My additions:
When someone asks you about your favorite current pop song and you tell them it’s “Reach for the Sky” by the Fresh Beat Band.

When your child has peed in all of her days of the week underwear and it’s only Tuesday.

Favorite girls weekend destination? Napa/ Sonoma, hands down.

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Shannon June 15, 2012 at 7:19 am

Ha ha ha — aaaah the Fresh Beat Band. I don’t thank you for that addition, because it is now stuck in my head. So right back at you — na na na na na let’s go bananas!

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katy June 15, 2012 at 8:06 am

lol, just HAVE to show my new love for the FBB!! i actually like listening to the cd in the minivan! (especially the bonus Bubble Guppie track at the end!)

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Shannon June 15, 2012 at 8:17 am

Bubble bubble bubble…guppies guppies guppies!

And as for the FBB, they are way better than toddler tunes!

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Laura H. June 15, 2012 at 7:54 am

yep yep yep. i’ve had a snake handed to me. and i had song that went through my head with the whoosh of the breast pump: that eric clapton song “let it grow…let it grow…let it blossom, let it flow” except i’d just sing ‘let it flow, let it flow…” pitiful. i ditto megan: you can’t beat napa. ever.

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Shannon June 15, 2012 at 8:04 am

Have never been to Napa (clearly this is a failing)…and as for the snake part. Aside from health issues with kids, it was my most terrifying parenting moment.

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Beckie June 15, 2012 at 9:42 am

Ha – when I read the kids’ songs quote, I immediately thought of the “Fruit Salad” song by the Wiggles, as I was making fruit salad last weekend and all three of us started singing along!

But here is my addition – you know you need a vacation when a trip to the movies means a matinee viewing of the latest kids’ flick. Napa here I come!

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Shannon June 15, 2012 at 10:29 am

Sadly, I am familiar with that Wiggles song as well. We rarely go to the movies anymore. We were feeling desperate one night when we had a babysitter. The only show left was 10:15. We went (it might have been the wine talking). We got home later than in years. We slept for three hours before the kids woke up for the day. It was awful ;)

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