Good Night, and Good Luck

by Shannon Hembree on June 22, 2012

My daughter finished kindergarten last week. One of the most important things I learned during this milestone year was to listen to my kids – really listen to them. No, I don’t mean listen to your kids because they have valuable insights into the world around them; I mean listen to your kids, because they say some freakishly funny stuff. It’s free entertainment…if you don’t factor in their role in the grocery bill and their future college tuition…but I digress.

Don’t believe me that it can be entertaining? Interview them. Yup, you read that right, interview them. For my daughter’s teacher appreciation week, I did just that. (Now, now. Before anyone gets their panties in a twist, I also contributed to the class gift, and I made seven-layer bar cookies). The interview was just the icing on the cookie, so to speak.

Here are a couple excerpts from it.

How much money does a teacher make?

“A lot of money.”

How much is a lot of money?

“$25 a day.”

Why do people become teachers?

“So they can teach children.”

And why do you think they want to teach children?

“They want them to learn to do the right thing when they grow up, because if they don’t know how to do the right thing they can’t have babies.”

What do you think Miss Teacher does to have fun in her free time?

“She doesn’t get any free time.”

Needless to say, my daughter’s teacher loved it (or so she said), although that may have been because it was accompanied by seven-layer bar cookies. My personal favorite would have to be the one about how if they don’t know how to do the right thing they can’t have babies. If only that were true…

And it’s not just older kids who have funny things to say. I have started asking my twin toddlers a variety of questions as well (more than the usual anyway). My personal favorite thus far was an exchange about what they want to be when they grow up. My younger twin – Baby B – said he wanted to be a garbage truck. My kindergartner got totally exasperated and tried to tell him people couldn’t be garbage trucks. A tantrum – of course – ensued. Baby A then got into the act. He pushed my kindergartner aside and said to his twin, “You be garbage truck. Me be dinosaur.” What can I say – we aim high in this family. No doubt this will be a comfort to me in future years should their career path not be as successful as we hope. I will always be able to say, “Well…at least he didn’t turn into a dinosaur…”

So happy interviewing. The summer months will no doubt be filled with more down time than we know what to do with, so why not start an interview journal now. If nothing else, it will be great to whip out on prom night. And if you fill an entire journal to read to them, that is more time they will spend sitting on your couch listening to it and less time sitting on a couch elsewhere…doing…well…things that will give you a heart attack. Yeah, that’s right. That’s the sound of everyone who just read that last line snapping up a notebook and tracking down their kids for an interview.

Good Night, and Good Luck.

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